All Natural Assassin School

all-natural assassins
take no aspirin

the message sharp-ied above the urinal

says.
also, the party line insists
the test is not a measure of intelligence
so much as a game
of
light your oblongata

or get off the pot, 

which was Ante Annihilation’s
catch phrase, aka Jules Rodriguez,
who retired on a roller derby
pension.(ah the snakes cursed
that poor old gal. snakes for intestines
they said) she was an instructor
until they caught her canoodling
with ethically challenged,
cross town rivals
‘the preservative assassins’

How on earth
this tight lipped syndicate
operates incognito...

but it is they who passed
me through the physical prowess
portion of the pre-interview process
due to mastery of board breaking &
lasso making.

on to the classroom arena via
escorts, broad-shouldered and bow-tied.
unabashed,
size-me-up-sideways
types, allinarow,
prick up
when the deep down body
voice presenting from a mini transistor
situated on a metal lectern
cracks
to life: Hey! Sit up straight
ya buncha Barney Fifes!

the valedictorian raises her hand, 

registers concern. wait. 

I won't take aggression 

through this medium. her desk folds
inward upon itself, popping, compact-

ing reducing, reducing
until she's gone.

when silence 

is again regained 

the voice assures us, 

you may begin.