Birthday Poem

5 glowing birthday candles
illuminated my expectant face just as you
entered this world I thought of as mine.
We smelled each other in Tennessee, but didn't know it,
4 hours and 34 minutes between us,
Martin and Crossville
close enough to induce recurring muscle spasms above my left eye
 for the next twenty-odd years.
You heard the word Texas emerge in muffled grown up discussions:
And so it was.

Relying on olfactory Fate and circumstance is a risk,
considering how the stealthy Rio Hondo breeze
broadcast the scent of your dirty diapers.
You learned to walk, run, debate, discern.
He missed.  I swerved.  She stomped.
Mistakes were made.
You were possessed (though not by him)

Under the same goddamn sun
(Which is cute, but not so substantial)
surrounded by the same goddamn state,
tempted by red neon Hamburgers.
those lucid moments, when the lightness of belonging to a republic threatens to coalesce into a belief,
sharp edges of an early October morning defining, outlining the day that would embrace you…
these tantalizing yet satisfying peripheral images--
that was me.
I am often oblivious, but I felt it too:
Perfection of place, slant of light, turn of phrase.
Promise accumulating in your every step,
forward and back.
You could crunch numbers
or
you can believe me when I say, chemicals were released,
upon my birth, inert
until vibrations from the Gulf and the exact pitch of your first infant cry
combined,
discombobulative agents,
muddled my internal compass.
So, considering my lack of direction,
you made the right move
when you bought those shoes
that took you part of the way to me. 
Not that you ever needed an excuse
 for shoes.
But remember,
I am the trail blazer.
I had the first five years to leave mark, scratch and sign along my every step
Imagine
each year
our aspirations coincide on chocolate box cake candles.
You blow East, I blow West,
unsettling the nature of our limited scope,
as we open our presents like ravenous little animals.